Not you too
by doktorvampir
Summary: Tobi is scared for Deidra. He hears something from Deidra. What is wrong with Deidra? read and find out. OneShot of Akatsuki. Please review.


Hidan was walking around the Akatsuki headquarters when Tobi ran up to him from behind shouting his name.

"Mr. Hidan sir. Can you help me please?" Tobi yelled out to Hidan.

"Oh hell no. Not this." Hidan said to himself as he began to run away from Tobi. Hidan ran into his room where Kakuzu was counting money from a bounty that he just received.

"Dude you got to help me. Tobi is after me and needs my help. And you know when he asks for help it is some weird shit." Hidan said as Kakuzu did not even acknowledge Hidan. "Did you hear me frankenfuck?"

"Yeah I heard you, but I don't see where this involves me." Kakuzu replied.

"Oh you fucking walking corpse. Fine don't help me, but when you need help in backstage cemetery walks, don't come running to me." Hidan said as he turned around and prepared to leave.

"No wait. I need those walks. What do you need me to do?" Kakuzu said as he got up and look embarrassed. Kakuzu did not only love money, but walks in a cemetery when a new batch of bodies arrived also made Kakuzu tingle. And since Hidan was a priest of sorts, he can get Kakuzu in a cemetery with little to no problems. And since this was Hidan, there were never problems.

"I thought so. Go find Tobi and ask what he wants. Then tell him to wait somewhere and come back and tell me what he wants. Got it?" Hidan said.

"Yeah got it." Kakuzu said as he walked out the door.

Kakuzu closed the door and searched for Tobi. After looking all over the place, Kakuzu finally found him in the library looking up exorcism jutsus.

"Hey Tobi, what you reading?" Kakuzu asked as Tobi looked up at him with a worried look on his face. Apparently, Tobi's mask gave out emotions when Tobi was in a very emotional state. The color orange was happy while black was depressed and green was sleepy. With Tobi's mask being almost black now, it was hard to see him in the dark corner.

"Hello Mr. Kakuzu. I am looking for an exorcism jutsu to help Mr. Deidra. Mr. Hidan is a priest, I think, so I thought that he can help me." Tobi said while turning a page in a book.

"Oh. Why does Deidra need help?" Kakuzu asked with a curious look.

"Well, I was walking towards our room when I heard talking inside. I thought Mr. Deidra was with someone, but when I walked in, he was alone." Tobi said.

"So what. He could have been muttering something. I do it all the time when Hidan pisses me off." Kakuzu said.

"No, when I walked in, Mr. Deidra had an embarrassed look on his face and then screamed at me for not knocking on the door. I don't understand why I have to knock when the room is also mine. Then when I was in the bathroom, I heard Mr. Deidra walk in the room and begin to talk and I heard some weird response answering him back. I quickly finished my business and walked into the room and saw Mr. Deidra looking at his hands. He looked up at me with some demonic look in his eye. Then he yelled at me for eavesdropping on him." Tobi said.

Kakuzu looked at Tobi and told him to wait here. Kakuzu left towards his room where Hidan was still waiting for him. As Kakuzu entered the room, Hidan got up from his bed.

"Finally. I thought your leg fell of or something." Hidan said.

"Shut up. Go see Tobi in the library. I think it is serious." Kakuzu said as he got to his bed and resumed counting money.

"What? What did the fuck want?" Hidan asked.

"Help him with some sort of exorcism on Deidra. Since you are a priest, you might know exorcisms." Kakuzu said.

"The fuck? Where did he get the idea I was a priest? Just because I am religious, that makes me a priest. The fuck is up his ass?" Hidan yelled as he left the room.

Hidan entered the library and found Tobi in the same place as where he was before. Tobi saw Hidan approaching and ran up to him.

"Touch me and you die." Hidan yelled as Tobi was about to hug Hidan for coming.

"Sorry Mr. Hidan. I need your help. Mr. Deidra is acting weird." Tobi said as he went back to his table.

"What else is new. Did you see that pussy's hair? Who the fuck walks around like that?" Hidan said as he sat down on the opposite side of the table.

"Don't say that about Mr. Deidra. He is very nice if you get to know him." Tobi said.

"Like hell. That fag bag is too weird and sad for me." Hidan said as he looked at a book that Tobi was reading. "The hell is this shit? All this crap is outdated. No one looks for these herbs anymore. That's why we have Zetsu. Just take a piece of him and you have any plant you need." Hidan said as he began to laugh.

"Oh. I forgot about Mr. Zetsu. He has the same problem." Tobi said as he ran out of the room.

"The fuck is he talking about?" Hidan thought as he ran after Tobi.

Tobi ran into Zetsu's room but was disappointed to not find him there. Tobi then ran around and finally found Zetsu in the lobby dragging a corpse into the headquarters.

"Mr. Zetsu. You have to help me." Tobi yelled as Zetsu looked up and found Tobi running towards him.

"What is it Tobi? I have to get this body into my refrigerator." Zetsu said.

"That is just fucking gross you vegetable." Hidan said as he came up to the two.

"Never mind him Mr. Zetsu. You have to help me with Mr. Deidra. I think he is possessed." Tobi said.

"What makes you think that?" Zetsu's other half said.

"Well he talked to himself like you do and there was a response." Tobi said as Hidan began to laugh again when he saw Zetsu's face.

"What kind of response?" Zetsu asked.

"A deep weird voice." Tobi replied.

"How about we just go to him and find out what exactly is going on." Hidan said as he began to walk towards Deidra's room. Zetsu and Tobi followed. On the way to Deidra's room, the three ran into Itachi and Kisame. After Hidan told them what was going on, the two were curious to see what was wrong with Deidra and followed the three.

When the five reached the room, Deidra's voice was heard from across the door. Then a deep voice responded to Deidra from time to time. When Tobi was getting nervous, Hidan broke the door down and Deidra was startled and quickly hid his hands behind his back.

"What the hell Hidan" No more rituals for you today to do?" Deidra asked.

"Don't be mad at him Mr. Deidra. I asked him to help you." Tobi said as the five entered the room.

"Help me with what un?" Deidra asked.

"With your demon. Hidan here is going to perform an exorcism on you." Kisame answered.

"What the hell. What demon un? Deidra asked.

"The one who possessed you and is making you talk to yourself." Tobi answered.

"Oh shit. You got it all wrong. I am not possessed yeah." Deidra said.

"Then please tell us what is going on." Itachi said.

"No. You will all laugh yeah." Deidra said.

"We promise to not laugh at you Mr. Deidra. Please tell us what is going on." Tobi said.

After a moment or two, Deidra looked down and sighed.

"Fine."

Deidra showed them his hands and to no one's surprise, there were mouths on his hands.

"So. What the fuck is that supposed to mean. We know about your freakish hands." Hidan said.

"No you fucker. You think these mouths are just for clay un? They do have a tongue you know." Deidra said.

"Oh hell no. Don't tell me what I think you are going to say." Kisame said.

"What?" Itachi asked.

"He talks to his hands." Kisame said.

All of the remaining members looked at Deidra and stared at disbelief.

Hidan then started to chuckle.

"Oh shit. Not you too." Hidan said as he began to laugh.

Deidra turned around as Kisame and Itachi dragged Hidan out of the room. Tobi followed them to calm down Hidan so he won't laugh at Deidra.

"Don't worry Deidra." Zetsu said. "Welcome to the club."

Zetsu then left with his corpse while Deidra just stood there.

"Don't worry Deidra." A deep voice said. "You still have us." Another deep voice said. Deidra just stood there with a blank face.

"Now I am turning into Sasori. Maybe this is why he got rid of his body." Deidra thought to himself. 


End file.
